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posted by [personal profile] gashin at 10:09pm on 22/03/2009
Mediocre poetry at poetry readings nonetheless get me so excited about creative expression, and about people's willingness to share that part of themselves with others (in public no less!), and about the wonderful reality of such venues and outlets even existing in the first place,

that I really wish that I wrote things I would feel confident in sharing with others.

Also they make me wish that I hadn't arranged it such that Roland has about 4 poems of mine that don't exist anywhere else in the world, including in my little black book. I'm not talking to him, but god I really wish I could go over there and go through the folder he has of my stuff (he's probably hidden it in some "days long gone" subfolder by now) and print out the ones I don't have. SO BADLY.

Also, take back my Club Monaco pencil skirt and Vero Moda black ruffled dress shirt, because those will come in handy at the branch.

ALSO MY EXPENSIVE DESSERT TEAS. How the fuck did I forget all this? ARGH.
There are 9 comments on this entry. (Reply.)


posted by [identity profile] at 04:37am on 23/03/2009
Yeah, I want that kind of space, too.

I can send you the terrible piece I wrote for the writing workshop if you like.

Also, I realize you were one of the people who LJ stopped sending me the "x has posted" updates of, which means while I thought you were just taking a break from LJ, I was in fact just missing out on posts.


posted by [identity profile] at 04:48am on 23/03/2009
I stopped sending updates? Can I control that? How did I STOP that? I promise I haven't fiddled with any settings...

I definitely want you to send me whatever you've written for that workshop. I'd love to read it. If ever I finished the sprawling mess of words I'M working on, I will send it to you.


posted by [identity profile] at 05:03am on 23/03/2009
You did nothing. When I lost my paid account, LJ cut off everyone I had tagged as "update me when they post" except for the last 10 or so.

I have gone back and re-activated them all now.

I will send you the story. If I actually think I am going to do some edits in the next couple of days, I will send it after that.


posted by [identity profile] at 05:36am on 23/03/2009
Do I have your mailing address??? Are you still living in apt #108?


posted by [identity profile] at 06:06am on 23/03/2009
Yes ma'am! That's still my address. Postal code XXX 1S4.


posted by [identity profile] at 03:14pm on 23/03/2009
Man, I'm so out of the loop I didn't even know you weren't talking to Roland.
...wait, now that I stalk your Facebook status updates I see timelined "evidence". Hm. May I ask if Jo finds this change a good thing?


posted by [identity profile] at 03:51pm on 23/03/2009
It's ok. There was no public announcement. We are on a 3-month break with a significant chance of break-up thereafter. His standards for relationships involve stringent, 100% emotional independence (which does not preclude supporting one another, but which DOES preclude EXPECTING that support from one another). I can appreciate and agree with that on the theoretical level, but I'm not sure if I'm even capable of it, or if that's even what I want in a partner. There is no logical consistency (his words being "a slippery slope") to my stance of "I want to be 95% emotionally independent but there will be a 5% of times in which I will NEED to know (and hence will expect) that my partner will support/prop up/otherwise help me be okay long enough for me to fix whatever is wrong", but that's been my stance so far and... well, yeah. We'll see.

I'm okay, though. If anything, the mere fact that this break exists, in my life/universe, is more of an issue for me than the not-seeing-/not-speaking-with-Roland thing. Maybe I should have just broken up with him entirely. I think I will get a better sense of that as time goes on.


posted by [identity profile] at 03:15pm on 23/03/2009
Yeah, I know how that feels... :(

Re: little black book. Maybe if you like... text him and ask him to drop it off, he would. Somewhere neutral. That could work, right?


posted by [identity profile] at 03:45pm on 23/03/2009
Well, this leave from one another wasn't framed nearly as melodramatically as the last one, so maybe it wouldn't be emotionally scarring to him or whatever. But I hesitate to ask. He's pretty complete about his silence.

We'll see. Maybe in a little while. I still have the keys to his place, I'd just need the ok from him to go in there, say when he's at work, and collect all this stuff.


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